Old People Restaurant Scam. You know the scam. Whine about perfectly good food to get some sort of comp.
In their old age, my parents befriended another older couple who would pull this stunt everywhere they went. After my mother told me a few stories about how their new friends had shown them how to get discounted or free meals, I felt like I was suddenly the responsible adult, concerned about the bad influence these people were on my parents.
While visiting my parents with my girlfriend, this other couple attended dinner with us. As I expected, the food was brought to the table and they immediately began dramatically complaining to one another about the quality/taste/temperature/etc. They were making a scene in order to attract the attention of the waitress. When our waitress returned to ask how we were doing, the miserable old bastard who played the lead role in their act took a deep breathe, struck a dramatic pose (with his hand raised to begin gesticulating for emphasis) and bega–I leaned forward and cut him off before he could finish the first word: “Everything is absolutely fantastic. It’s all great! Thank you very much!” She smiled, and began her obligatory “Great, well if you need any–” when he made a second attempt. “We come here all the time an–”. I didn’t acknowledge that he was speaking at all, repeated that all was just as we ordered and thank her again.
He was stunned and thrown off from his routine by my interruption. During this pause the waitress walked away (It seemed clear that she knew what they were trying to accomplish). He turned bright red. I turned to my girlfriend and, smiling and without lowering my voice, stated how pitiful it is that some people could be dishonest, deceitful and put at risk the livelihood of a cook, server or hostess for a pathetic discount or a free early-bird special. My passive-aggressive reverse-parenting broke my parents of the habit in short time.
And baby boomers talk shit about Millennials being entitled
As a Jimmy Johns employee for three years, the largest demographic that scams us for sandwiches are older than 40.
I’ve found that whenever I get anxious about something, it helps to sing a little song about it to make myself feel better.
So far, my top hits include:
1. Doot-Doo Doot-Doo Doo, Climbing On The Roof, Doot-Doo Doot-Doo Doo, Not Gonna Die
2. Driving On The Road, My Family’s In The Car. Better Not Swerve Into Traffic Cause We’ll All Die
3. I Am Alone, It Is Very Dark. Just Heard A Noise, Don’t Like That.
4. I’m Burning My Hands, But That’s Okay, I’ve Got Two Hands And I Can Grab Things With My Feet
5. There’s A Raccoon In Here, And That’s Just Fine
6. Not Gonna Fall Off The Roof (Dubstep Remix)
7. Raw Fish Tastes Bad, Prob'ly Should'a Cooked That, Didn’t Read The Box And That Was A Mistake
8. La Te Da Te Da, Bleeding A Lot, Doo Tee Doo Tee Doo, It’s Prob'ly Fine
9. It’s Not Illegal If I Don’t Get Caught, Can’t Get Arrested If I’m Already Dead, Nobody Ever Arrested A Corpse, Ghosts Don’t Have To Follow Human Rules
Everyone may *think* they hate country music, but when Jolene, Before He Cheats, Take Me Home Country Roads, or Life is a Highway comes on, everyone is suddenly a liar.
remember when you were a kid and whenever your parents came into the room while you were doing something for pleasure like looking at something on the computer or watching tv and you’d immediately close the thing like you’d just been caught watching porn when you were actually doing nothing wrong this post was made by strict parents with no boundaries gang
my dad: walks into the room while i’m playing club penguin the family computer
